Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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