Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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