Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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