doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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