Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
