I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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