I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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