i just wanna soil my oats bro
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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