Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
