Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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