I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
