I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
