i will never coherently bang her
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
