yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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