If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize