He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
