Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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