i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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