they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
