My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just high enough for therapy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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