I'm so fucking centered right now
youre lurking in front of me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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