It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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