I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
