Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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