i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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