Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
