Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
