i just google imaged poop.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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