You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize