Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
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All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
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Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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