his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
