oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
