Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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