Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.