I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.