I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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It's official drugs can't kill me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
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He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?