Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided