problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
