would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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