Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
