I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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