Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
