it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
