i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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