whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
