Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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