You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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