chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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