I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize