Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
