3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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