Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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