That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
