just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
