and she was petting her beer can
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
