so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
