Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
