no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I look better un-naked...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
